The Apple Juice Bet.

Friends and Loved Ones,

You've probably noticed by now that I've been one very busy bee. December is usually a very busy month for me. The BBR adds shows. Other people add holiday shows. There are dinners and parties and houseguests. Not a whole lot of time left for blogging.

Take last Saturday for example. This was my schedule.

8:30AM - Wakeup, Shower, Dress, Walk Dog, Finish Packing Bag.
9:30AM - Take CTA to Playground for BBR tech.
10:00AM - 12:00AM - BBR Tech.
12:00 - 1:00PM - Brunch with BBR cast.
1:00PM - 2:10PM - Race via CTA to Midway to meet VGT intern. Get her set up on CTA, welcome her to the city.
2:45PM - 3:35PM - Cab to Bevery Arts Center. (The interns plane was late.)
4:00PM - 6:00PM - Perform in the BAC holiday show.
6:00PM - 8:15PM - Bus and el train it back to the PG for Stinger show. (which turned out to be cancelled.) Socks and Shoes get wet.
8:30PM - 11:15PM - Sit at The Town Hall Pub, trying not to fall asleep. Socks and Shoes are almost dry.
11:30PM - BBR call. (Shoes get wet again, walking back to the PG.)
12:00AM - Perform BBR. Drink 1.5 litres of Apple Juice in less than two minutes. Regret it immediately. Pay Greg and Hendo the $5 that I owe them for losing the bet.
1:00AM - Walk to the Town Hall Pub. Begin Farting almost immediately. Continue farting for the next five hours. Pee repeatedly.
2:45AM - Kicked out of the Town Hall Pub, hitch a ride with BBR castmates to the Green Mill (to sneak onto a bus home.) Instead, I get talked into going into the bar.
5:30AM - Falling asleep at the bar table, awakened periodically by my own nearly constant farts (from the Apple Juice), agree to go to the Golden Angel to get breakfast.
5:45AM - 6:30AM - Breakfast with drunk BBR castmates at the Golden Angel. Socks and Shoes are wet. Farting continues unimpeded.
6:30AM - Walk across the street to go home to bed. Walk Dog. Pass Out from exhaustion.
9:00AM - Vomit up applejuice. (but no solid foods which was interesting). Whilst vomiting, I also fart apple-juice-scented farts.

Also, Apple Juice is a diaretic. I enjoyed two days of semi-solid bowel movements after losing "The Apple Juice Bet". Which is, about as badly as a human being can possibly lose a bet - paying for the bet materials, paying up for losing the bet and then suffering diarrhea for two days afterwards. You just keep losing and losing and losing.

I'll be avoiding apple juice for the next two months straight.

Cheers,
Mr.B